Stephanie from SF and her best friend Jenny came down this morning to take their placement tests. After that, I took them out to Chinatown, but there was not anything appealing. We ate at Pho 87 and Lollicup and then walked all the way to Little Tokyo and ate Yogurtland. They had to leave so we could not have an authentic Mexican dinner :( It was fun though; I love any excuse to eat a lot.

Magnet Banquet and MESA Banquet and Capital Markets Competition all had such great Mexican food. Makes me crave it sooooo bad.

Stuff I'd Like for College, Revisited :)

Here's a list I made a few months ago:

-Macbook Pro + applicable accessories - GETTING! The new 15 incher probably, with the ipod touch promo :))))) not sure about accessories.
-External compatible w/ Mac and PC- birthday present :)
-Bike - working on it :(
-New Phone - GOT IT :)
-Unlimited Texting - GOT IT :)
-Bookcase - :(
-Digital Piano - :(
-New Printer that does not suck. - WILL MOST LIKELY GET
-Flip Video Camera - :(
-Digital SLR - not that important
-Bulletin Boards/White Boards/Calendars/Planners - WILL MOST LIKELY GET
-An external full of shows that I'll be unable to download from college premises - working on downloading shows!

7/12 done :) In just three months! I'm happy with this.

My parents raped my room and now they put everything into boxes. There is no way of finding anything. So I lost my $50 receipt and I don't think I'll find it and now I'm pissed.

Also I hate how I'm fucking saying something and my mother, who is not in the room, not aware of the situation, and not in the conversation shouts from another room an attack on me that is fucking unrelated. This is why I hate people like this. This is why I get pissed off at Brian Martinez and other people all the time.

I hate having to defend myself only to be called a bitch all the time. Go fuck yourself.

My parents are cleaning my room, ready to move me out so my brother can have a place sleep when he comes home on Friday. I'm still stressed from competition tomorrow, and my B in physics and my homework from stats. I hope they don't find the stuff I hide from them. I started screaming at them not to do anything because I hate hate hate when people move my stuff; I can never find anything ever again. I bet you I'll never find anything again. They just told me to shut up and shoved me out because they're fed up with me not doing anything. I'm tired from working. I just want everything to stop. I want to sleep forever, but I have work to do.

Ahhhh idk why but I love the British! Their art and theater are soooooo fine. They're just the most sophisticated and fashionable people I've ever admired. I want to be like Jenny Mellor from An Education--young and free and well-read and smart and bright and drop out of school to have an affair with an older gentlemen and eventually make it to Oxford. I want to read and understand Byron and Keats and Wilde and Camus. I want to travel to Paris and Rome like it's a rite of passage. I want to visit gorgeous manors and ---shires and drive on the wrong side of the road.

They're so brilliant.

I think people need to be decisive and grow up. I understand the need to complain about stuff so you can deal with things more easily, but persistent shit talking about a huge problem is not going to change anything. This is not middle school, you are a freaking "adult." What the fuck is with letting problems escalate because you do not have the balls to either suck it up or confront your problems? Decide. Act on how you feel. You are way too old now to be unsure about what the people you let in your life's intentions are. And the only people who will hold anything against you in the long run are people who need to grow the fuck up as well.

I just watched the film Bright Star. Woweee Ben Whishaw is soooooooooo dreamy ♥♥♥♥♥ I cannot stop spurting hearts. So basically this film is about Keats and his lover, and it's full of poetry and tender moments. The farthest thing they get to is kissing, and it's the sweetest thing. Ben Whishaw as John Keats is now my dream boyfriend♥♥♥

Watch things on the VCR
With me and talk about big love
I think we're superstars
You say you think we are the best thing

But you
You just know
You just do

I miss my dog. Today I felt like I had all the time in the world. I wanted to spend today with him.

I had my first actual interview today, and it went well. It was identical to an Academic Decathlon interview actually, except more free. I let a few things slip through the cracks. They told me "dressing up is not recommended; just come casual," but I don't believe in that kind of stuff so I wore a skirt and my interview heels. It felt very familiar. I improvised with my interview intro a little, and it felt good because I've met two of the judges last year in a meeting before. Also, they told me what they liked about my app, so that gave me a bit of confidence.

In retrospect, I grit my teeth at all the things I did not control. I ran on a little, I was not definitive in some of my answers, I did not express some things I wished I did, I tapped my foot sometimes and it made a sound because of the heel, I looked away sometimes. But it is always like that after interviews. You give out answers so much, that you wished you could have used your best ones.

But I am glad no interviews are perfect. I do not mind as long as I am able to express how I genuinely feel. I do not care as long as I am able to communicate that I am unique. I do everything and I love everything and I do not just do everything to fill out my applications. That is just a plus :)

Johnson Dang does not want to hear it from me, because he is always less enthusiastic about these things than I am, but it was really exciting today. It was my first real interview. They had me talk a bit about myself, like the interview intros. They had my application which was like my resume in interviews. They used my resume for the interview! But the real interview was much more engaging. Like they spent time. Like they had specific goals. Bill wanted to know about Engineering. Susan wanted to know about the Gay-Straight Alliance. Paul wanted to know about my reading. I liked Paul the most, because he was the most enthusiastic. He did not look up from his notes on his laptop much (I made sure to look at him still though!) but he kept giving me questions that tried to explore my gains from my experiences. I think I fell short on some aspects of that though, but I do not want to dwell on that too much.

It was really fun. I wish I had a team to talk to about this. Truthfully, so much that I want to cry.

Happy birthday to my cousin Sally! Man the years go by. How did you get so big? 15 already? You'll always be three years old to me. You'll always be the three-year-old who swore, who had such a huge personality, who licked the coke off the floor, who shared that lollipop or ice cream with Sparky.

It's funny because we used to play everyday. I didn't really like her much because she was always freaking bossy. But I used to play with her sister Helen all the time. I followed Helen everywhere. We used to watch TRL and sing every word to I Want It That Way, and we especially loved singing to Britney Spears' first album. We used to ride bikes everyday. We used to rollerblade. I used to have a pair of rollerskates! We used to play hide and seek around the pink pillar that used to be white, and that was before the extra gates were set up. In fact, we used to play wayyy back, before the front lawn was carved, when it was just grass cut by the fence. We used to have so many trees! Pine-shaped trees that lined the driveway, and we had one huge tree that Meijie hung a swing from. That one was the first to go. We used to find dead birds or bees, and we buried them under the pine-like trees. That's sealed by cement now. I saw a butterfly the other day and I remembered we used to see a lot of butterflies! And we used to play with bugs! Rollypollies, ants, crickets, ladybugs! Now they're too disgusting for me to touch.

I'm so glad I have enough of these memories. I'm so glad I had a full childhood. There are so many facets of my life that I can peel away in my memories. I'm so glad I can remember my relationship to each of my cousins, my parents, my brothers. There's no need to say if I could go back I would tell myself to slow down or some shit like that, because those days were slow. Those days were plenty. Those days were great. I appreciate them every day of my life.

I know there's something called privacy, and that I was left alone when I was 11 to do whatever the hell I wanted online and at school. But I'm very concerned. My little brother has said on his AIM that he's being ignored at school, that he has no friends. And now I learned that he joined myspace when I told him not to. I don't think I should leave him alone, because he's a really sad kid, but he doesn't like it when I talk to him about his friends. I feel like I failed in a huge way since Alex is going through what I went through.

I love her! Haha. This was FIERCE. Classy. Sexy. Not racy at all.
I hope people will take her work seriously and not just throw words like slut around. I love how she added a pole dance just to spite people! :))))


Anywho. Long day. WAYYY long day. even longer week. I spent the last 24 hours cramming for stats. I read the entire Kaplan review on stats! Aha. Of course, reading is not the same as practicing, so I didn't know how to do some problems, but I think it was decent. This is what I get for sleeping the entire semester x___x I think I might have managed to pass with a 3. I'm hoping for a 4 because I think 3's are ugly, but pickers and can't be choosers, so I just hope I pass! I'm running on 5 hours of sleep, and I totally took a 5 minute nap during the exam. Haha. BC is tomorrow morning! I have to review!!!! After a huge nap first. And I also have to review for Lit. I really want a 5. My MC scores went down a bit :/ I don't know what happened, and I have to review work and practice some more on Q1 and Q2s. I also need to write for scholarships, and I also have to finish up things for prom (all by friday!) Oh boy.